@LinajkReturns: Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa.
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@HatfieldAnne: Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.
@FrogAvalanche: [On phone] "Did u see the weather forecast?" "No. I refuse to be sucked in by Big Weather." "Where are you? Its so noisy." "IN A TORNADO."