@KarenKilgariff: Behind every YouTube star is an Ikea bookshelf
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@SqueakyFreckles: I drove home with a new bunny for my kids & all they did was moan. "Why hasn't it got a head?" "I don't want to scrape it off the wheel."
@Sean_Burgundy_: People usually stop coming over to your house when you greet them with "Make yourself at home, BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T OPEN THE FREEZER."
@juneohara65: My cat is smarter than I am but I'm brighter than most plants, so I feel like I'm holding my own.