@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.
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@MomOnFire: H: Something's wrong with you. M: Yes. H: No, like for real. M: Yes, I told you that from day one. H: But you were kidding... M: Haha, no.
@TheAlexNevil: What I Say To 7: "This is just between us" What 7 Hears: "Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"
@AmericanGent69: Reasons I work out. 1) I don't wanna be bit by a vampire and spend eternity out of shape and double chinned. 2) I guess to be healthy
@DurtMcHurtt: All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don't even remember what he did anymore.