@Midgetspar: Being a "Hopeless Romantic" sounds kinda depressing. "Pull my chair out for me?" .. "I'd love to, but I've given up."
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@Tmoney68: I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Is it "butt" naked or "buck" naked? Either way, this dentist appointment is making me very uncomfortable.
@dammit_emma: officer, buying weed from a guy who sells on the side is basically shopping local. you should be THANKING me for supporting our community.
@KKAlThani: I have two feelings in Ramadan, it's either "I'm hungry" or "I shouldn't have eaten this much"