@Midgetspar: Being a "Hopeless Romantic" sounds kinda depressing. "Pull my chair out for me?" .. "I'd love to, but I've given up."
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@shutupmikeginn: If you get engaged and you and your partner both owns dogs do the dogs become brother and sister or are they married too?
@Parker_Simpson: this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight
@ElKnuckelhombre: My neighbor's looking at me like she's never seen a guy stuck in her doggy door before. And what's with the screaming? And the golf club?!
@juliussharpe: Someone tell my kid that if I wanted to hear high-pitched shrieking all night, I would have become a murderer.