@Midgetspar: Being a "Hopeless Romantic" sounds kinda depressing. "Pull my chair out for me?" .. "I'd love to, but I've given up."
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@Bob_Heller: Lions do NOT share. If you try to give them half a hoagie, they will take it, plus your half, plus your arm, plus I am inside a lion.
@iGreenMonk: I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive.
@collinwithtwoLs: *brings a gun to a knife fight* *brings a gun to a pillow fight* *brings a gun to a food fight* who keeps inviting this guy
@Tommytoughstuff: "Let's check in with Ted our correspondent in the field." Ted: "Hey Bob I've been in this field for about an hour, and I'm super bored."