@mommy_cusses: Being a mom means saying things that shouldn't be threatening in a very threatening manner. Like, "EAT YOUR CEREAL!" for example.
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@Ristolable: Did you see that? That's the third time she came over here. I think she likes me. "This is Applebee's and she is our waitress"
@jordanrubin: "We stopped making the style of jeans that fit you perfectly right after you bought your first pair." -Every store ever