@robfee: Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD
@pleatedjeans: [approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it] Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE
@iamspacegirl: Geppetto: I wish you were a real boy Pinocchio *begins to sing & dance around* Geppetto: yay! [3 hrs later] Geppetto: This was a mistake
@WritePlay: "Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking," I suggested to my wife. "You seamstressed."