@robfee: Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat.
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@Eric_Bader: Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.
@justabloodygame: *scrawls note on deserted isle* TRAPPED ON ISLAND! HELP ME! *sends off in bottle* *it returns, months later, with reply* NEW BOTTLE WHO DIS?
@JermHimselfish: It's amazing how eating such a small amount of dog food can cause such a large amount of concern from the people at the pet store.