@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
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@Reverend_Scott: Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying.
@einsteinsexual: You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup.
@XplodingUnicorn: [Who Wants to be a Millionaire] Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend? Host: What's your friend's name? Me: Wikipedia.