@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
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@rzarosco: Nice try weed people... Are we just supposed to legalize anything that comes from the ground? What's next potatoes?
@trojansauce: KID: are you sure this will work? ME: *holding a fishing rod with a peppermint attached* do you want a new grandpa or not?
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? You didn't, the brakes did. Cop: But do you know why? Cuz I pressed the pedal with my foot? Cop: Get out.
@tastefactory: My neighbors complain about me throwing my cigarette butts on the lawn but they'll be pumped when a cigarette tree sprouts in the spring