@TheTweetOfGod: Being God means never having to say you're sorry. Or anything, really.
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@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@JohnLyonTweets: I'm scared to open any email with a photo attachment because of all this talk about photobombing.
@PinkCamoTO: H: So what's the worst thing you've ever seen someone do? Me: I watched a mother buy her son a harmonica.
@MyHairyLife: If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt.