@TheTweetOfGod: Being God means never having to say you're sorry. Or anything, really.
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@oldlinds: Hey good news everyone : the history test I spent all night tossing and turning about, ended up being just a dream, as I graduated from high school 12 years ago
@MarfSalvador: [woken up by barking] wife: oh god it's an intruder! me: sssshhh [listens carefully] no, it's definitely a dog
@AdamOfEarth: Iron Man, Iron Man, does everything an Iron can Gets real hot on a mat, makes your clothes get really flat Look out! Here comes the Iron Man