@CanadianCyn: Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder.
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@eminmien: WAITRESS: Let me clear this up for you. ME: Thanks. WAITRESS: [to my date] He's not ready for anything serious right now.
@amishschool: Me teaching Wilderness Survival Class: "OK EVERYBODY WATCH CAREFULLY AS I DRIVE *AWAY* FROM THE WILDERNESS."
@AmishPornStar1: Don't you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?