@elanazak: Best correction of the day, if not ever:
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: [at dentist] so your X-rays look grea- *phone rings* hold on *on phone* a new engine? jesus, ok so as I was saying you have several cavities
@BuckyIsotope: When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you.
@Jake_Vig: The year is 2035. The only movies are superhero reboots. Anyone caught looking up from their phone is fined $100.
@HeyoShellz: Target employee: Describe your lost item Me: It's a $400 rose gold Tory Burch wallet with 87 cents and 12 maxed out credit cards inside