@trevso_electric: Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.
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@adler_chris: Do not let #FyreFestival refugees into the country. We cannot risk it if even ONE of them has been radicalized.
@ArfMeasures: [Restaurant] ME: *says entire order in French to impress my date* CHINESE WAITER: what
@Purpell_Nurpell: People are always telling me I look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I've never seen the movies, but she must be a beautiful gal.
@buhsbaby_baby: [before sex] Just so you know.. I can only be on top cause' I'm not gonna take my backpack off