@chrisdowning: Between toilet paper and forest fires, bears have a lot of responsibilities.
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@peachesanscream: What if your dog speaks French and this whole time has been asking you for some beef?
@jtrulez: She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
@squirrel74wkgn: [news anchor] “New study shows that sex can lower blood pressure.” Me: Did- Wife: Your blood pressure is fine