@kerihw: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's fly into a window.
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@KeetPotato: mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]
@sarcasticmommy4: I tried that whole "if you love something, set it free" thing but my kids are still here.
@valerie_tosi: The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said "It's cute that you think I'm here for that."
@JB4Realz: If you ever come across a bear in the wild, throw a tiny bicycle at him. Then, just let his circus instincts take care of the rest.