@kerihw: Birds do it. Bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it. Let's fly into a window.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: If you tweet about orthopedic shoes enough, you don't even need to write "No DMs" in your bio.
@bigmacher: #MyRoommateIsWeird she keeps having babies and making me take care of them. She also insists I call her 'Wife'
@Social_Mime: If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself.
@Dawn_M_: Kinda rude the way this hedgehog is running away from me when I'm trying to stick cheese on his spikes.