@behindyourback: Birds do it/Bees do it/Even educated fleas do it/Let's do it/Let's make people super nervous anytime we're in their personal space
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@poppiesandcake: If what we are doing here is art, then my Tweets could be classified as kindergarten finger painting.
@DanMentos: *runs into san francisco restaurant* THE KALE WASN'T LOCALLY SOURCED *sound of 100s of ubers smashing into each other outside restaurant*
@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size