@_4kidscrazy: Birth control??? Here watch my kids for 10 minutes.
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@WVUPRT: Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] "Did you say single?"
@tinatbh: Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future? Me: Lunch Interviewer: No like long term. Me: Oh...Dinner.
@egg_dog: HEY GRAPEFRUIT, know what else is a grape AND a fruit? GRAPES. yeah. so get your own name you citrus idiot