@Elifcello: Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
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@philyuck: COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes.
@robfee: I think the Ice Bucket Challenge is a giant waste of water *falls asleep in the shower for 2 hours*
@Eric_Bader: If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed.