@Elifcello: Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
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@Mom_Overboard: Me: Dare me to find out how many Reese's peanut butter cups can fit in my mouth?! Date: What's happening right n- Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
@underchilde: [lying naked in bed] Her: Tell me your fantasy. Me: Well, I get in my car to drive to work, and for the entire trip, there is no traffic.
@dshack8: 3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave
@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.