@cervixsmash: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
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@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American.
@bourgeoisalien: I want a bouncy house at my funeral. And I want to be in it, too. When all my friends jump, my lifeless body will bounce with them. What fun