@cervixsmash: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
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@KentWGraham: After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
@shanethevein: Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice.
@3hunnathot: one time i had sex while watching zootopia for the first time and she got mad because i kept looking at the movie lmaooooo... it’s a good movie smh
@Sickayduh: I thought I saw Bradley Cooper but it was just every poem ever written formed into a beach sunset with amazing hair