@cervixsmash: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
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@Jesusontwittorr: To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later
@LanieLalaBugs: If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right??
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Imagine if Iron Man could do whatever an iron can. 🎶 Flattens shirts, with his heat. Gives your slacks a nifty pleat. 🎶
@ElleOhHell: BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered