@cervixsmash: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
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@SamuelHLowe: - You always have to have the last word. - THAT IS A LIE! - OK, I'm sorry. - Spatula.
@Sean_Burgundy_: People usually stop coming over to your house when you greet them with "Make yourself at home, BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T OPEN THE FREEZER."
@Mardigroan: Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade.
@aneesa_p: First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream.