@SaddleLawman: Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking.
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@Lexactly: Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying "Cute doggie" and realizing it's their kid
@OutrageousM: "What's a good gift for someone who has everything?" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier.