@AimeeHelene1: *blows bubbles in your face to distract you as I take all of your tater tots*
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@Thedudish: The recipe said "Set the oven to 180 degrees," so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.
@Rollinintheseat: *Shakespeare resetting his password* "Enter new password." Fortnight "Your password is two weeks."
@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
@freypalm: My dad: See, when you said you'd met a "special someone" we thought… Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON.