@AimeeHelene1: *blows bubbles in your face to distract you as I take all of your tater tots*
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@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.
@murrman5: we lost our power "why?" a transformer blew up by our house *eyes widen* "that's awes-" it's not as cool as it sounds
@ConanOBrien: You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancée by the way he hasn’t murdered her.
@bobbiejo448: This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five.