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@1MeLrO: Blows you, kisses
See proper punctuation is important
@MrSpoonicorn: hey boy ;) is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see m- oh, it is a gu- yes i will open the cash register
@heidi420x: Peanut butter
You're almost as good as chocolate
Which is almost as good as cheese
Which is tied with vodka
-Poem about the food pyramid
@jonnysun: FRIEND: and this is my pug
ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say "oink"
@ohpegah: [playing with a Ouija board with my dog]
Board: B A L L
Me: I know that's you moving it! Stop!
Board: T R E A T S
@JosesLovesYou: If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly.