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@harikondabolu: Indian Brothers & Sisters: You know all those awful things Columbus did to the Native Americans? Just remember...HE WAS LOOKING FOR US
@stephenjmolloy: "It's beautiful today. Let's work outside." *5 mins later* "This was a terrible idea." *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*
@brendohare: Hello. I'm the guy who sleepeats thousands of spiders every year and screws up the average for everyone. Sorry for scaring you.
@aspiringtoucan: BUT WHY THE HELL is it called BUG spray not disINSECTant *Walmart worker who I have in a headlock in aisle 4* Sir please stop I don't know