@shariv67: Born on February 29th of a leap year, I can't legally drink till I'm 84.
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@RatchetAfrican: If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
@greg_vee: If I'd know I only had 4 decent tweets in me when I started, I'd have spread them out a little more.
@djangogold: if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night
@karencheee: Why do people say children are the future? They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.