@shariv67: Born on February 29th of a leap year, I can't legally drink till I'm 84.
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@Pork_Chop_Hair: When I cut my nails in the yard outside, I wonder if the ants really appreciate the giant tusk weapons I'm giving them for their battles...
@squirrel74wkgn: [at Doctor's office] "When's the last time you had sex?" Last night. "With a male or female?" Oh...with another person?