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@EndhooS: Boss: Are you high?
[Me watching him evaporate] I hope so.
@k_lli: Social butterfly? Nah.
I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them.
@NonCombosMentos: *incoming text*
"hey bud can I crash at ur place"
Sure come on over
*sound of approaching airplane*
@MooseAllain: "Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"
"We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"
@TheGoatTaco: My girl stayed true and my dog didn't die, I'm sober
~no country song ever.