@WilliamAder: Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today.
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@Shock_Monster: NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions.
@pleatedjeans: [standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER
@ThePocketJustin: Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?