@munkayc: Bought cheap helium gas. Now boyfriend's annoying snoring doesn't make me want to kill him, but my fear of clowns has tripled..
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@Jay_FrickinLynn: Jesus: Give them fingernails in case they start itching. God: Alright, but wouldn't it be funny if they couldn't reach their backs?
@mauleePillar: Someone just sat across from me at a table at Starbucks. They got too close to my food so I bit them.
@Contwixt: Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that's going to treat it with the respect it deserves.