@10InchesPlus: Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle.
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@MarkAgee: I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.
@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, "Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10."