@10InchesPlus: Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle.
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@Darlainky: A costumer just said to me that my daughter and I look like twins. And I was like, "Well, we were separated at birth."
@Parker_Simpson: I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*
@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
@juliussharpe: Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant.