@10InchesPlus: Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle.
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@ibid78: "Dave's coming over." -Dave from work or Dave that doesn't know how doors work? [doorknob sorta jiggles for like 20 minutes]
@brianbowman73: We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch. I was naked. She was afraid. I guess I should have probably introduced myself first.
@SadieSmithRoks: You can learn a lot about a man based on how he responds to a bird pooping on him. Also background checks and digging thru his trash.