@TheDairylandDon: Boy. A zombie outbreak sure could get a solid foothold on a day like today, with all this tomfoolery and whatnot. Be safe out there, guys.
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@GrantTanaka: at my funeral, I need one of you to stand up and ask if you can have your toaster back
@BeardSpice: *walks into convenience store* "Excuse me, do you sell beef jerky" No sorry we only carry beef friendly *beef sticks start complimenting me*
@mattytalks: A very busty woman whispers to me "I want you to tell me if these look real" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing