@DaddyJew: Boy if these walls could talk I'd be like "HOLY SHIT TALKING WALLS"
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@juliussharpe: Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money.
@DominicStraw: *at funeral* Thank you all for coming. As you already know, my dignity has left us. I tripped in front of all my coworkers. It was tragic.
@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.