@DaddyJew: Boy if these walls could talk I'd be like "HOLY SHIT TALKING WALLS"
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@Trustedshoe: Husband: Some weirdo broke into the house last night. Wife: How do you know it was a weirdo? Husband: They stole all my Bruno Mars drawings.
@peteec: BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: Where were you on Friday? Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...
@NicCageMatch: A surprise party on someone's birthday isn't surprising. A better time would be 3-4 months after their birthday, in the middle of the night.