@brennadine: BRB YOU GUYS, I GOTTA DO THIS FACEBOOK QUIZ TO FIND OUT WHAT BREED OF CAT I AM
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@chuuew: As the zombies swarm, I ask for one last selfie. By the time they realise their dead flesh won't activate the touch screen, I'm long gone.
@FrenulumBreve: [Safari hunt] (Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant) *Adjusts hat and shades* "Elephant?. Yes that way." *Points with trunk*
@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.
@thecrabbyhook: My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.