@papasuncle: Bread as a loaf, bread as a bowl. Bread as a slice or bread as a roll. Bread is delicious, it is a fact. Whoopi's best movie was Sister Act.
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@SondraDeeMe: My dream of making Playboy gone, so my best bet is National Geographic photographing me naked, carrying water on my head.
@geowizzacist: (after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T
@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
@Dawn_M_: "Women don't like me, idk why?" "Maybe it's because they sense you're a psycho who will decapitate their cat?" "No, that can't be it."