@Iwriteforcats: Bread: For when you want to wrap your food with other food, then eat it.
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@INDlAN_: Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]
@mrsmith196645: I've concluded English is my phone's second language. It's the only explanation for all the bizarre autocorrects and typos that plague me.