@DurtMcHurtt: Break up by making swimming motion arms every time they want to hold hands.
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@Blunt_Sarcastic: When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you.
@DurtMcHurtt: This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself.
@hazelmotes1: One day you'll find someone who loves you for you. Someone with low, low, super way low standards. Lower than what you're thinking right now
@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course