@DurtMcHurtt: Break up by making swimming motion arms every time they want to hold hands.
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@BeingTwiter: What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common?? . In each scenario, there's a dumb guy who didn't take it out in time.
@Mikecanrant: There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.
@FredPollack: Flirting is a way of life, the moment you stop is when you're dead ... then your spouse cleans the gun and places it in your hand.
@buttgh0st: "sir can you describe the stingray that attacked you?" yes it was like a weird pancake