@OhNoSheTwitnt: Breaking: It's snowing where some people live and not snowing where other people live. More about this in 10 minutes on Facebook News.
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@uccjeb: Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I'll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live.
@BoozyMusic: My new cat, John Cena, wants me to remind y'all to never let your kids name your pets.