@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
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@wesleybordelon: Hey guys, what's the name of that movie where Michael Cera plays a socially awkward teenager?
@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
@KalvinMacleod: PERSONAL TRAINER: so how much do you bench? ME: a fair bit but I usually bed or sofa.