@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
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@thatUPSdude: 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn't have a cent to his name. *drops the mic walks away*
@TheWadest: Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.