@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
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@dankmccoy: Insane Clown Posse is really giving a bad name to all the rational clown posses out there.
@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford.