@Rollmaninoz: BREAKING NEWS: Man gets out of offending people by saying "present company excluded of course" after highly offensive statement
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@iGreenMonk: I always carry a mushroom with me, just in case my enemy shows up & I need something to make me bigger.
@jonnysun: Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom "wat abot that shadowy place. by 5pm it wil be in the sun" ..who told you about science
@ashmensch: *entire building at my work loses power* *I run all the way to Linda's office* Remember when you said light up shoes were a dumb idea?
@crylenol: I crunched the numbers and this is just incredible. what isn't he telling us. #Sharknado3