@Rollmaninoz: BREAKING NEWS: Man gets out of offending people by saying "present company excluded of course" after highly offensive statement
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@ilovepie84: My Boss called me immature today so I gave him a wedgie and made fun of his ugly family.
@TheDailySchmuck: I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like.
@huntigula: Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl