@TweetsByTheTony: Brew coffee. Chill coffee. Use coffee instead of water to make Twice-Brewed Coffee. Win Nobel Prize. Begin to glow, levitate. Eat building.
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@blood_orphan: 3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider
@matt___nelson: "If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-" SHE ONCE COMMENTED 'FIRST' ON A YOUTUBE VIDEO *ring bearer vomits*
@MrMildSauce: It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
@ugh: men: women are very hard to read women: actually, we just want- men: such complex creatures women: if u just liste- men: so mysterious