@Underchilde: Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won’t know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don’t know either.
@robfee: Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?
@SamuelHLowe: "Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.