@ibid78: Bro do you even watch The Notebook and weep softly, mourning the eternal nature of love juxtaposed against the fallibility of memory, bro?
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@13spencer: A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic.
@_Tempo11: Exits public bathroom stall Makes eye contact with the person next in line Mouths: "I'm so sorry"
@petfurniture: "why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly
@WigCannon: before stairs there'd be someone on the second floor and people would ask "how'd you get up there" and they'd be like "i don't know"