@Blondiethegood: Bro Transformers are real! Haven't you seen a big truck or a camaro? They are real. They just hide real good like chewbacca. And batman.
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@batkaren: HER: I love Deadpool ME: I love Dead Pool HER: Oh, cool, you read comics too? ME: *staring out at pond where I toss victims' bodies* Hmm?
@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.
@AmericanGent69: If my name was Simon I would always talk in the third person when telling someone to do something.
@Kyle_Lippert: [Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie..