@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is talking to a parrot. "I'm Bruce Willis" he says. The parrot repeats it. "yeah right" Bruce says, but is secretly worried
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@NickFlora: The Great Gatsby was so unrealistic. So many people at those huge parties and not once did anyone ask for the wifi password.
@LuvPug: I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk.
@TitansHomer: Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??
@TheSwanDon: Ugh I hate the bathroom at this mall. There's not a single urinal. Just a bunch of women screaming.