@Fred_Delicious: Bruce Willis is talking to a parrot. "I'm Bruce Willis" he says. The parrot repeats it. "yeah right" Bruce says, but is secretly worried
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@Mr_Kapowski: Guy 1: Women love a man that's well read Guy 2: Got it [date] Woman: So what- Guy 2: *covered in ketchup* How well do you like me red?
@runawaycupcake: The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?
@FatuousFloozy: Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you're interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say "spaghetti"