@cervixsmash: Brunos are from mars, freddies are from mercury
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rolldiggity: When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, "Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.
@mjkspeaks: Someone flipped me off so I threw my wallet at him and said "I love you." He didn't even die. Killing people with kindness is hard.