@omgthatspunny: My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

@SteveKoehler22: I got fired from my job as a diesel fitter in a panties factory. We would hold the panties up, inspect them and say "Dese'll fit her"

@stpeteyontweety: Well played C-SPAN. Well played indeed. #Zuckerberg

@LlamaInaTux: Me: can you make sure this diamond ring is in the bottom of her drink? I want it to be a really special moment McDonald's employee: ok

@mattytalks: Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I'm pursuing you online and from my couch