@The_Gonzi: I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

@iamspacegirl: Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me

@SamGrittner: When a woman asks me how long I can last in bed I tell her it depends on how long someone brings me food and water but probably years.

@BeTheBoy: The first sign I wasn't going to be a doctor is when I called Anatomy "Skeleton Class." Sign two was failing skeleton class.

@Shot_Of_Cabo: Somehow stumbled upon a nude beach. . Yeah, found myself in the middle of no wear.