Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

@uncle_fescue: Buddy: her boyfriend was killed?

Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?

Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I’m like, who even kills horses like that?
113 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

1

@dreamthievin: You: make yourself at home Me: *throws all the broccoli in the trash*

1

@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright

1

@p_net: Her: Describe your ideal date. Me: I'd order an extra large pizza. Her: Interesting. What would I be wearing? Me: Oh, you'd be there, too?

1

@flahertykeely: stuck on a crowded subway next to a girl playing candycrush, she made a bad move & half the car went "ooooo" in a chorus of dismay

1
↑