@PortRooster: Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!
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@ojedge: [1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: "Thank you but I'm not cold" Me: [covering her awful dress] "Yes you are"
@kangel76: If "Cops" has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they're nothing but trouble...
@Deno_Tron: Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room