@badbanana: Bummed about the early Scotland vote results. This was pretty much our best hope for seeing Shrek on a flag.
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@JermHimselfish: I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back.
@WilliamAder: In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.