@ericsshadow: [burglar gently waking me] you live like this?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kumailn: "Forget our mess. I'll go into the beauty of the natural world." *Planet Earth 2. 100 snakes swarm iguana baby* "I'll go back to the news."
@Shelts99: Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next
@Tylerosis: Let's do something we both know we'll regret in the morning. Let's order KFC for dinner.