@DiscoFruit: but was it fire...?
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@KeetPotato: [talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] "FIFTEEN-LOVE"
@Shanehasabeard: "Your résumé says you've been to prison?" Me: Sorry, that's a mistake "So you haven't?" Me: I have, I just didn't mean to put it on there