@DiscoFruit: but was it fire...?
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@timdonakowski: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
@AndrewChamings: CAR SALESMAN: Check out the reclining seats. ME: Oh this baby is gonna get some action *winks* [Cut to me asleep in car on my lunch break]
@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree