@stockejock: Butterflies are like regular flies, but they live at Paula Deen's house.
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@AlexvanBeek: Unless: -The house is on fire -The cops are about to kick down the door -Or you're ordering food Do NOT talk to me while I'm on the toilet
@treywafer: Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy.
@JelianMercado: Sephora employee: “you have 70000 points, you can choose from any of these things”