@stockejock: Butterflies are like regular flies, but they live at Paula Deen's house.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
@daemonic3: Mom: Did we pack everything? The stupid baby monitor? Dad: Ugh I hate that annoying dumb thing! Tiny Monitor Lizard: Ok wow I'm right here
@TheDairylandDon: [drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?
@HyenaEars: What is the term for a group of Canadians? Is it "an apology"? "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"