@purch_s: Buy an aquarium. Don't buy fish. Tell guests there are fish. Enjoy time spent not having to talk to guests while they look for fish.
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@KKBowls: I was riding a horse once and its leg broke, so I had to shoot it -- everyone on the carousel freaked out.
@notalogin: Headline: "Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds". AKA, "My eye is up here".
@preciousadidas: Biden: So here's the plan, I'll tackle him and you go in for the knockout Obama: Joe please. Biden: too far? Okay what about- Obama
@ashleycrem: I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things.