@wickedsuga: *buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn
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@ddsmidt: Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead
@IamEveryDayPpl: Boss: "Do you have a Twitter account?" Me: "Umm... Yo no hablo inglès." Boss: "Tienes una cuenta de Twitter?" Me: *fakes a seizure*
@notacroc: [First ever Snail Olympics that started 350 million years ago] Millennial snail announcer: oh shit here they come
@SuitableHolmes: Words can not even begin to describe your beauty and how much I need to borrow your car.