@wickedsuga: *buys extra movie ticket seat so I'll have a place to put my microwave bc I'll be damned if I'm paying that much for popcorn
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@smedlee: "No Kanye, it's called Coney Island." "Kanye Island." "Coney Island" "Kanye Island." "Co... ney." "Kan... ye."
@kirkdiedrich: The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway.
@RobinMcCauley: AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995.
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.