@KimmyMonte: by age 35 you should hate at least 4 neighborhood kids
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@garrydavenport: When I die, please scatter my ashes over my iPhone, computer and TV, because I want to be left to my own devices.
@IamEnidColeslaw: The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely.
@SaraMansford: The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold.
@ibid78: Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. No closer. Become one with your enemy. You're now your own worst enemy. Don't freak out.